Getting Rid of Despicable Me!

Run! It's Gail! Gailpaul.comWhen you wake up and get out of bed in the morning, what sort of mood are you in?

When I think back a few years, before I found the Law of Attraction, I would mostly be in a foul state of mind!

I now shudder whenever I think back to those mornings. A typical start would be a brief glance in the mirror followed by an expletive and a sharp self put down of myself. ‘Tut! Same old Stupid Face…I wonder what crap I’ve got to deal with today?’

I would then go about my daily duties like getting the kids up for school, making breakfast, making a cup of tea for my husband who would just be coming off a night shift, then getting myself ready for work…all done in a robotic, miserable state of mind!

How on earth did I get through the rest of the day??

Work would be the same drudgery; just getting through it was a trial. I’d then come back home, fix dinner, wash the dishes, go about some ironing, watch a bit of T.V. then slope off to bed to often lie awake wondering why my life was so awful and how it was never going to change.


Throughout the day, little things would greatly annoy me. Simple things like dropping a fork would be met with a muttering of ‘stupid idiot!’  (or worse!)

The television and radio news would make my teeth grind with anger, my neighbour would be out in the garden being chirpy just as I made an appearance and I would be greeted with a cheery hello and a conversation would have to be entered into…when all I really wanted to do was tell her to F*** off! (Sorry, but that’s how I was)

I can remember those feelings well and I hang my head in shame at the thought of them.

God forbid if anyone won the jackpot on a T.V. program! I would hate them with a passion and it would grind my gears for the next hour or so. I would be evil in my appraisal of them. ‘Why are they so lucky?’ ‘What makes them so special?’ ‘They must live a charmed life….why can’t I live a charmed life just like them?’

I would openly laugh if they failed and lost everything. What a horrible human being I was.

Yet this was going on year after year and it reflected on my lifestyle. No wonder ‘good things’ never happened to me and no wonder my life was spiralling out of all control.

That wonderful painting by Edvard Munch ‘The Scream’ totally summed up how I felt. I have a copy in my house to remind me never to go back there!

The Scream

I really, honestly, thought this was how my life was supposed to be, I couldn’t see a way out. I was trapped and was only capable of digging myself deeper into the misery.

Was this a mental problem? Was it depression? Was I delusional? Paranoid?

Yes…all of these.

But I refused to believe that I needed help. I’m not one for taking prescribed drugs that only mask the problem and I also hated the thought that I actually had a problem.

It was around 5 years ago when it dawned on me that things really weren’t going to get any better and my future was only going to decay even further. My husband was in the same boat. I’ve written more about how our lives used to be and how we got into this mess in this post, so I won’t go over it again here. Needless to say, we both had had enough of life and needed help in some form or other. That help came in the form of The Law of Attraction.

The only way we could make a life shift was to truly believe in the Law of Attraction. My husband took the idea a little lightly to begin with, but I threw my heart and soul into it.

I’d read Wallace D Wattles ‘The Science of Getting Rich’ then Napoleon Hill’s ‘Think and Grow Rich’ books 3 times each in 3 weeks. I then watched a series of lectures from Bob Proctor…almost in a trance like state. Nothing was going to get in the way of me and my family living the life we wanted. I lived and breathed those programs. I wanted to understand what I had to do.

Napoleon Hill and Wallace D Wattles


Since then, I’ve studied Esther & Jerry Hicks, Joe Vitale, Jack Canfield and a host of other Law of Attraction authors. The movie ‘The Secret‘ helped enormously too.

Today, to get things rolling, I would recommend the ‘Manifestation Miracle’ by Heather Matthews. If this publication had been around in those early days, we would have benefited all the sooner.

It’s a great place to start if you feel the same as I did back in the day. I would have loved to have been able to write that book, but Heather hits the nail on the head anyway so no need for me to improve on that.

I try not to think about how I used to react to situations in my life. They hold such negativity that I shun them out as much as I can. They do reappear now and again, but only as a reference point in my posts.

I look upon those dark days as having a mental illness, but fortunately I was sane enough to get out of it. That mental illness is confusion which leads to depression which leads to a breakdown…it’s not a route I recommend at all.

If you find yourself berating yourself for tiny insignificant failures, or you go about beating yourself up at every turn, then you may want to look at the Law of Attraction as a way of cutting out those traits. Once those traits have been eliminated and your mindset has been altered, the path to your real self becomes clear.

That voice you hear that tells you you’re no good, you won’t win, you can’t win, you won’t improve, you’re unlucky, you’re a loser is the voice of YOU! Why tell yourself things like that?


You are unique. There is no one in this world like you. There is no one in this world who can tell you what to think. There is no one in this world that can change you…except YOU.

Think about that for a minute.

Only YOU can change YOU. And it’s all in your head, right there, waiting for change. Do you want to change?

It will take time, but what a journey! You find out just what it is you really want and you realise you can get it by just changing yourself…nobody else…just yourself. And remember; only YOU can do that.

To get started I recommend Wallace D Wattles ‘The Science of Getting Rich‘ It’s a very easy read, if a little old fashioned, but the lessons are there. I don’t agree with everything in it and there are one or two sections that go against my belief (I’m not a religious person) but the principles are there and they are the foundation to finding the secret.

To get a more modern approach, then the Manifestation Miracle will put you on the right path. It’s well written and produced and goes into a lot of detail as to how to get what you want in your life.

Don’t be like me as I was 5 years ago…life is far too short to be Despicable Me!

2 thoughts on “Getting Rid of Despicable Me!”

  1. Hi Gail Paul ,
    I only read this one article so far from you and I think you have a great writing technique.

    I am slowly but surely trying to live on my own terms . I have been reading

    and listening to various Law of Attraction authors and very much so want

    to be able to throughout my day create manifestation with the Law of Attraction .

    I mean I can do what I have been doing thats is getting old . What can you prescribe

    in order to get results to dreams and achieve them ? Even small stuff but not parking lots hehe.

    I already had that happen . Maybe there are some exercises or just some practicle adviice

    to help me out , Thanks so much for you time , Lee Griber

    • Hi Lee,

      It sounds like you already have a healthy grip on what has to be done to ‘re-invent’ yourself to benefit from the Law of Attraction. I get a lot of emails from people who just give up on the whole manifestation thing…the simple reason being that they are impatient or are just not ready to change their lives, or indeed, really wanting to change their mindset.

      You see, to make the Law of Attraction work for YOU, you have to undo an awful lot of programming that you’ve been taught since you began to learn about life. That’s sounds like a big deal…and it is. It takes time and plenty of it. A lot of people are guided by other people throughout their life instead of taking the tiller themselves and steering the course of THEIR choice. Sometimes we’re taught to help other before ourselves and in a perfect world that’s great advice…but it’s not a perfect world. Those who benefit from helping others already have a pretty good life and find a selfish benefit in putting others before themselves. If that’s their bag, then great…more power to them. They enjoy life and get out of it what they sow.

      But not all people can help others or find solace in doing so. When they try to be unselfish it often backfires on them. They are trying too hard to be a Good Samaritan. I was one of those people who thought, and acted, selflessly and always put others first whilst my own life was a mess.

      The penny dropped when I realised I wasn’t getting a good deal in life even though I was a person people could count on. Now the next statement sounds down right selfish…and it is.

      I started not to care one iota about other people; instead, I started caring about my own life before all others. I had to get ME fixed before I could even consider being of any help to others. When you start thinking that way, it’s amazing how things fall your way. I wanted to have a better life and a reason why I am here on this earth.

      I’ve written on my blog how selfish I became over a period of just over a year. It was the only way I could change the path I was on…a very muddy, dark and bleak path to a path of least resistance. That path is now clear, bright and always fresh.

      My way of manifesting the things I want from life is to simply let them happen. I am never afraid to do what I want. Before, I always worried what other people would think of my actions or worry that the things I tried would never work for me. If I really, really wanted something 100% I always stepped back and thought negatively about it first. Feeding negativity into my mind until I believed I shouldn’t even try because it would end it tears…after all, it always had done before.

      But now I know why the first 40-odd years of my existence always ended in failure. I would give up before I’d even started.

      It wasn’t until I was truly sick of waking up every morning with the first thought being “I wonder what will go wrong today?” that I decided there MUST be another way.

      So I began reading about the Law of Attraction and it struck a very loud chord with me. But when I first tried the methods, it just didn’t work for me and I almost gave up. Almost.

      But that chord was so strong that I decided to put my own spin on it and become ruthless, almost brutal, in my approach to changing my life and using the Law of Attraction. I stopped caring about others and put myself first…every time. Pretty drastic, but that’s what it needed.

      My approach to manifestation is not your usual LOA stuff…it is, in fact, frowned upon in some circles. I get some emails that say I’m using LOA all wrong. Really? I’m happy, I’m contented and I look forward to the day and never worry. Darn it…I must be doing this all wrong!

      Anyway Lee, it’s all about believing in yourself, changing your mindset to suit yourself (not others…that comes much later after you’ve ‘fixed’ yourself) and believing, whole heartedly, that the things you want are already there waiting for you to accept them.

      Sounds simple doesn’t it?

      Well, it’s not all that simple, but it does get easier, especially when you realise the way you’re living your life is starting to make sense.

      It sounds as if you’re well on your way to ‘living life on your terms‘ (great quote, by the way). Just keep on thinking that way.

      One more thing, when I say I’m selfish, I am, but I’m still nice to people and treat them as I would like to be treated myself. It sometimes sounds like I’m some sort of monster when I advise people to look after No1 first, but I’m not…I’m just being honest and telling people that it worked for me and is still working every day.

      Lee, it’s a bit of a mishmash answer to your question and I’m sorry if it’s a bit rambling, but I always say believe in yourself 100%, Commit to living the way YOU want 100% and believing 100% that what you want from life is already there with your name on it…because it is. All you have to do is, one day, accept it. Also visualize what you want often. Write about it, breath it, believe it’s already yours.

      All the very best Lee…you’ll get there!



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